Yesterday I cryed a lot. Chopping carrots for the cowder I had to tell Bry if I started crying it wasn't that I couldent do it, it was just vary had( and started crying telling him this), he like the awesome person he is said " what can I do?" I told him I needed to do this, and that I'd be okay, not to tell me to go sit down or stop. So he didn't he was just the best sous chef ever! You see its just so much work to keep my knees from giving or going backward, not dislocate my wrists, not roll my ankles ext... The overwhelming effort it takes to hold all of me together, and as always attempt to have good knife skills. I immediately made a joke that I should have weighted till the onion to say anything so to hid my tears 😂 because really I was okay. I was (with help) getting to do one of my favorite things in the world, cook with my best friend. Pain is exhausting, I am fatigued a lot on the bad weeks, but I'm still me. I still have the attention span of a nat. so yes I get board of reasting and have to get up and create! I need it it's part of who I am, and the chowder turned out great. So if I do start crying its not all bad it's just all that pain and exhaustion finding a way out cuss I've been to busy living! Also 100 husband points to Bryan for not just waking up to help me(on a weekend none-the-less), but letting me cry. It's a strange thing when a man lets a woman cry and be feelings with out have to "fix it" just loving with her in her tears. That support really helped me all day. So yes today is my favorite day but so was yesterday because as always ( even in the pain) I feel overwhelmingly blessed. Also thank you all for being my friends, and going through posts like this. I know it not the average Facebook stuff to share ones struggles but it's where I am now and we all know I'm way to brutally honest.
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