Winning and being Disposable.

It's never easy to make new friends, and if you have ever moved you know starting from scratch is painstakingly difficult. Where to start? What are they going to think of me? People are so busy with there day to day does anyone have time for one more friend, or am I just another time consuming tug on a full life? Yah your head will go through the gambit and pull you under the self douting nonsense of all the junk you have piled upon yourself your whole life "what if no one likes me", but we all know that is just rubbish, every person has something to offer. Friendship is built by people that build each other up and as long as you are willing to invest yourself you can be a good friend, and the more experience you get being social the better you get at it. The trick is finding out how you like to spend your time and finding others that have the same interests sites like Meetup can be really helpful. Also going to things and being fun just like you would with a friend shows off how great you are, and just about anywhere you go there are going to be festivals, ball games, farmers markets, scrapbook meets, local game shops generally have a game night and so on. Just keep putting yourself out there (it doesn't hurt to feed people) be the kind of friend you are looking for, warmth, kindness and selfless interest in another person. All of these things have served me well in the past but having just moved AGAIN (I'm at a life total of 15 moves so far)It's back to square one the hardest square of all, I've been putting myself out there playing Humans vs zombies, doing game night, going to festivals and have met some nice people. What I'm coming up against now is that people are either young with time to have some fun, but rightly self focused on the needs of getting a life put together, or old enough to relax with but to busy to hang out with. It gets very hard not to scream at the stars why cant I find a good shopping buddy that also is good at chilling by the fire with a nice glass of wine, long hikes, inside jokes. Oh right nobody told you that after you get married you still have to date "couple friends" for like THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! Trust me invest in Cranium and Scattergories now it will make things easer later. Anyway lots of bored games later with the younger generation, and I have been Shock at the Intensity for "Hurry Up" or complete detachment when not winning, Over and over it has been made clear that if your not winning it's not worth playing, and if you cant win freak out. Now I take issue with this because I like playing games to spend time with people I care about, winning can be fun but not at the cost of respecting the other players. So no I'm not the biggest fan of winning, In all honesty I would prefer to enjoy the company and conversation than win any game. Remember there is only one winner but everyone else is together in loosing. I always play to my best but I never really mind that much when I lose, I find more company there. Now for the Disposable part, in the process of making new friends people will test your boundaries (just as you test theres) it's part of getting to know someone and what they are comfortable with but remember you have to stand up for your self (witch is much harder when you don't have many friends to choose from) this is vitally important you are showing your new friends that you deserve respect, kindness and boundaries, this IS NOT to much to ask, for real friends this will be a give in! Never be okay with being disposable, you always deserve better than that from every person in your life: parents, friends, partners, bosses, you are not disposable and if they treat you that way they are the disposable one and have not earned one iota of your life. So in the practice what you preach, I called out one of the social group for really being awful to everyone, using jokes to hide name calling, throwing temper tantrums(including silent treatment in the middle of games) and generally not caring if any of us were alive... after typing this I realize this was a older version of bullying a sort of: do what I want or everyone pays whether by disrupting the game, insults or of outcasting disagreers. So now I face the question will I be invited back in the group or have to find a new group, witch is sad because I really like everyone else, and truly wish to spend time with them. I have to say even though I may be outcast from the group I'm still okay with what I said, because I have to treat my self the way I want to be treated, and the way I would want my friends to be treated, but as always I wish this had never come up. All that being said I still have the best friends in the world back home, and from my childhood, so I still feel crazy blessed. Game night last year with the cool kids Becky and Jason.